I like this! Things you can do, that don’t really involve working that will help get you a raise (aka: 14 Ways Lazy People Get Raises). (from Forbes magazine…)
14. Look really good. While your co-workers are working, take time for grooming and shopping. Superficial appearances can tip the scales in your favor.
13. Mimic your boss. If s/he want to be serious, be serious. When s/he wants to cut loose and have some fun, be the life of the party.
12. Occasionally do small favors for your superiors.
11. Keep moving. Some people will talk your ears off about their needs and feelings. Just smile politely and keep moving. If necessary, point at your watch and mouth the word “late”.
10. Practice random acts of responsibility.
9. Quote your peers.
8. Go see clients often. “I was out with clients” is the greatest Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free pass ever invented.
7. Listen to clients. While visiting clients, make a habit to listen far more than you speak. Clients will mistake your silence for genuine interes.
6. Be a likable rogue. Even if you lie, cheat and steal, people will accept you if you are fun to be around.
5. Cover your tracks. During those periods you actually work (see #10), store a few projects for later use.
4. Set crazy expectations. Make sure your boss knows that you’re not just looking for a 2.5% raise. Talk up your relationships with customers (rules #8 and #7) and your great relationships across your firm (rule #6). Imply that anything less than a 25% salary increase will be disappointing.
3. Mention your kids a lot. Kids are the path to a higher salary. Kids are expensive; everyone know that.
2. Get a great assistant. It is very hard to get ahead unless you have someone under you who actually does a lot of work.
1. Rotate your team often. You need to constantly be recruiting new team members and finding your existing staff better jobs working for others. If you do this, working for you will be seen as a path to success!